Dear Almost-Grown-Up Myself,
How is the morning in KMLA? Sleepy, I assume, as usual. Today, at my time, I sent off seniors (you're a senior now, WOW) to take KSAT. It was weird, watching the people who lived very close to me preparing to take the final step into college. To me, going to college is more than just going to the dream school; it's about being an adult. Watching the people who I joked around with finally completing their teen and moving on seems unreal. They don’t seem more ‘adultlike’ at all. But, imagining them going out of the dorms and making choices on their own, I feel dumbfounded.
But what shocks me more is that the person who will be reading this is me, 30 days before leaving KMLA. How are you at the edge of nineteen? Are you afraid or excited? I cannot draw even a vague image of myself 1 year later. Don’t mistake me, I still want to leave KMLA and relax (I will NEVER get used to the morning exercise and all the illogical rules of this school). It’s just that now, I also feel the burden and the responsibility as a independent being in the society. I assume you will feel the same, or perhaps, even more afraid. Saying a few words won’t help you (I don’t understand how ”cheer up”s and I trust you”s help), so let me tell you a story.
There was a boy who loved his mom. He could never go anywhere nor do anything without his mom. Then suddenly, mom started to send him to kindergarten. Every morning the bus came, and the boy cried holding on to his mother, shouting that he will not go. Every day in kindergarten was a torture to the boy. Then, he met friends. They were different from mom: they didn’t share everything with him. But, they were fun. The boy, an only child, gradually became to love kindergarten, and a few years later, school. But at seventeen, another hardship approached. He had to prepare for his future. Well, yes he did study before that, but it was the first time for him to face the overwhelming schedule in a new and harsh condition. As a naïve boy, he cursed his life and all the things that gave him pain. He suffered, wondering why he had to be so miserable. But for his family and friends that he values the most, he learned to endure. As time passed, he found what he love to do and gained passion for all the things that he did. He matured, getting one step closer to an adult. After this phase of his life ends, the boy knows he will face a new difficulty. And this cycle will not end until he dies. But this time, the boy is determined he will be able to handle it.
Remember the first day at KMLA. You were full of dreams and expectations, but soon, your life threw too much at you and you were at the edge of giving up. But you are still here. You may be frightened, and you may not have trust in yourself. You may have failed to go to your dream school and have faced anything beyond I can ever think of. Still, like you did your whole life, you will overcome. I am not sure that you will succeed at the time you read this. But, if you have failed, I’m sure that you will get up. So, if you’re afraid, think of how the little boy have changed.
Love, Yourself from the Edge of 2018
Comments